where he takes his seat among the elders of the land."
What is it that causes her husband to be one who is respected?
I've been thinking about this for so long, probably too long! And, so one night when I cannot sleep, I ask God to show me. Here are the thoughts He brought to mind:
How is my husband one who is respected?
* By God's grace: how can anything truly good be said of any of us really if not for God's grace!?
* He is a man of integrity: It strikes me that this is not fully about the reputation of his wife, though we are certainly getting to that. A man who is respected must be a man of integrity to be able to keep the respect he is shown.
* My attitude about my husband reflects on him: Like so many situations, how we come across in our sphere of influence is going to influence how others perceive a certain situation.
I am instantly reminded of when I was working at Glen Eyrie, I really liked our current computer system - but we were looking at building a new program that would do more to help us. I remember hearing in a meeting that how I (my name was mentioned specifically) felt about the new program and my attitude about it was going to directly influence how many other staff members felt about it. Wow! Talk about motivation to be careful, yet honest.
I haven't forgotten this visual or the truth behind it and the same is true here. My attitude about my husband and the way I speak to and about him will shape others' view of him including our children.
* The way I present myself reflects on him: If a man has a wife with a "reputation" - how is he ultimately going to be respected? Do the choices I make show respect to my husband?
Put yourself in a very practical situation: you are with your husband at his work Christmas party. How are you speaking to/about him? How are you treating him? Are you dressed appropriately?
Remember that how I come across does reflect on my husband, for better or for worse.
* The way I conduct business reflects on my husband: As women, we are frequently the ones out in town doing business for our families. We do the shopping, run to doctors appointments and go the local library. At all these places, we may not have friendships - but we do have acquaintances if we frequent the place - therefore, we do have some sort of relationship.
The way that I treat my children, carry out my business, respond to challenges and even treat those I come into contact with is a reflection on me. And, I represent two very important people: first, my Heavenly Father. Is the way I am acting and carrying out my business representing Him well and with respect? Secondly and in the same way, I am representing my husband - the head of our family.
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In a lot of these cases, I realize that as women, we have opportunity to shape what others believe about our husbands - think about these situations:
- Do the choices I make show respect to him? Am I a wise steward of the money that he is working hard to provide for our family? How do I spend my time? Is our home a place that is welcoming to him? Are my choices supporting his goals?
- Am I teaching my children to respect their Dad?
- Am I conducting my business ethically?
- Mom friends: you have other mom friends and get together with them for a play date, they may have never met your husband, what will they think about his character based on what you say or your attitude?
- Consulting him: Imagine this - someone calls your home offering you a service or a trial of something - have you ever said you need to check with your husband? Sometimes, I wonder if people these days aren't a little taken aback when I say this in any situation. But, that shows respect to him and sometimes it really does take unnecessary pressure off of me.
- Around church: Am I known for going around and telling juicy morsels or for coming to worship? How does that reflect on my husband?
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Before, we craft - let's go back to the verse for a minute. It mentions the city gate. This was where the community leaders met to conduct their business and make important decisions. I sort of see it like City Hall or the Mayor's Council of our day.
And, I don't think this means our husbands have to be on City Council or in the town square to be respected. God has given them a place of influence right where He has placed them.
Just like the way he conducts his business and represents God and himself, so too - the way I treat him, speak about him and represent him will add to his respect in our family, church and community.
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Ok, friends - I've had this post in the works for MONTHS! I keep getting stumped on how to flesh this out in a craft. I had thought about making some sort of card that could go in my husbands wallet with thoughts like this on it:
R: reflect beautifully
I've struggled to come up with exactly how to make this so it is meaningful. Ideas?