Note: I wrote this post intending it for Mother's Day - but I had a strong feeling that I was supposed to submit for (in)courage. Their process takes a while and I didn't hear back until last Friday and since it is too late for Mother's Day - they are not going to post it. I just trusted that God would orchestrate the timing - so I trust that even though it is past Mother's Day - His message spoken to my heart would bless even late for Mother's Day.
I am so excited when I see a mother Cardinal gathering twigs and leaves. She carries them to and fro into our front rose bush and I admire her love of beauty and protection to choose such a place. A bush near our door which will be difficult for her - since we are noisy and a young crowd and come and go. But, such a beautiful place!
We are alike - she and I. Nesting is one of our instincts - though carried out in different ways, we are both looking to create a warm safe place for our babies. We are also alike in loving beauty. Whether she is as conscious of it as I am, she chose a place that is so pretty - pink roses bursting forth into bloom all around her new little nest. She's also chosen a place with thorns - which will be painful for her as she comes and goes - or at the very least will require great caution. But, she's hopeful that those thorns will help protect her from harm.
Today, I rejoice in the homes God is creating - new families that are beginning. Thankful for my Mom and for the privilege of being a mom.
One day, I see her firmly seated there in her nest - which perfectly circles her wings. Oh, I am hopeful that I will see eggs and baby birds soon! After we come and go one busy day - she flutters away and chirps noisily at us. But, her absence is just long enough for me to snap a picture of her precious dreams.
Dreams that are delicately sitting in her sweet nest.
You and I are like this little creation of God's in another way - we have precious dreams that are sitting in the delicate places of our hearts. We make them comfortable and cozy in our own ways so they will be at home with us and be part of us. We want to protect them in every way possible. When a time comes that these dreams move outside of us into the beginning of a reality we guard them very gently and even as the Cardinal hides her eggs with her wings, we are sort of guardedly hiding our dreams.
Today, I am thankful for those who long to be mothers. Rejoicing with those who have children in their homes and children on their way to join their families.
The next morning, I go outside and am instantly struggling. I see the nest - it is toppled over as if something has knocked it topsy turvy. Mrs. Cardinal is no where to be seen and all I can see of her eggs are a broken piece of egg shell or two.
Inside I want to scream - "NO!" How could this happen? While I was asleep - what happened in our front rose bush? The thorns did not deter?
I am heart broken in my own way over the loss of life that has been lived out right in front of my eyes, in my front yard. I want to be angry at the bird or cat or unknown force that came and snatched those eggs from that sweet Mama.
Keeping the information to myself, I walk right on past so as not to alert my children just yet while I am so raw about what I've seen. I feel sick. I want to do something to change it back, to make things right again.
Birds, I know, do not feel things the same way I do. But, how can I help but wonder what this Mama is doing today? How is she getting through knowing her babies will never be born? Maybe she was a casualty as well?
I cannot get that picture of the toppled nest out of my mind - I go back days later and try to find pieces of egg shell - but there aren't any there anymore. The only remnants of the dreams are the pieces of leaves and twigs and sticks that are now dusted in fallen rose petals.
God speaks gently - there are many who have their dreams of motherhood broken. Today, I am sad with you for the heartache of this broken dream. I'm heart broken in watching the hardness of life that surrounds you.
Oh, there you are - you who long to be a mother. You who have the dream of motherhood tucked gently beneath your wing in a safe place. You who have had the hope of motherhood right out there in the open only to have it snatched away.
You - who have had your dreams of motherhood broken.
I wish I could wave my magic wand and make everything just as you dream and hope for. But, I can't. I wish I could make the wrongs right and the why's into praises. Again, I cannot.
God has gently reminded me again and again of this:
Matthew 6:26, "Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?"
He reminds each of us that these birds are His creations and He takes care of them. He will do even more for us. I can believe that He knows just what happened in that nest in my front rose bush. I can believe that He is in control - though I don't like it and don't understand.
And, I can believe for you - that He boldly claims your value to Him. It would be a privilege to come alongside you - to rejoice with those are rejoicing and mourn with those who mourn.
I am instantly reminded of Psalm 84:3, "Even the sparrow has fond a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young -- a place near your altar, O Lord Almighty, my King and my God."
A nest near His altar - may we feather that nest with words of praise and supplication today for our sisters and fellow mothers. Would you consider leaving a comment today that will be prayed over and gently lifted to the very throne room of Heaven on your behalf?