Anyway, regardless of anything I thought - it did get me to doing some thinking of my own. Would my daughters ever even consider something like staying at home in their single years? Would that be best for them?
Next thoughts - regardless of all that - do they think that it is wonderful to be at home? Do they think I love it that I am home with them? What does my attitude say to them about that? When they ask if they can help in the kitchen and I get easily frustrated - are they sensing that I love being at home?
I'm going to be very honest and share part of an e-mail I wrote to a friend from church whom I am privileged to seek for godly counsel:
"I was recently thinking about training the girls to love being at home and being homemakers. And, my next thought was that I don't know that they will think it is a joy because they don't see joy in the way I act. I do love being at home - and I do have joy in being a homemaker. However, I often find myself getting short with them or coming across frazzled or frustrated. Yes, there is plenty to get frustrated about - but how do I communicate a joy for being at home in spite of all the frustrations? The constant needs/demands and very minimal down time really do take a toll on me and I know that - but how do I overcome that? How do I go from someone who thrives on being alone, quiet, reflective and still thrive in the noisy, chaotic life He has given me?"
I appreciated her response which reminded me to be in His Word, prayer, relying on the Holy Spirit and some practical suggestions as well. Then, I was out planting green beans and sunflowers in the garden and was drawn to keep looking in the area at all the green that is popping up everywhere.
Then, I saw that the blueberry plants are about to bloom - the hope of fruit.
And, this day - those things were an encouragement to me as well as a visual lesson of myself and my children. We are still in process. Still growing. These children are like little seeds, little seedlings that I must tend and care for so that they will someday produce fruit consistently.
Gardening is a lesson in patience and God beautifully reminded me today that mothering is too.