A couple of days later - I was struggling again. Fearing again. Not feeling good. I ate a pitifully small dinner and snuggled on the couch with little Samuel while the others were out for the evening. I read my Bible - studying all those times He taught about blindness. I watched Thomas the Train and exclaimed over Percy being frozen by Jack Frost and Thomas being buried in the snow.
It was one of those places where I couldn't decide if I really didn't feel good or if I just needed a fresh perspective. You know those times? When you're just really down and a friend calls and you feel so much better after talking for just a few minutes? Yes, that is where I was.
Everyone got home and I pretty much went straight to bed ~ praising God for the gift of rest and the restoration of sleep. After a good sleep and a good breakfast, I was feeling some better - but then our morning happened. Just the usual craziness going on in a home with three young children.
I called my mother-in-law and asked if I could bring my children over to play for a little while so I could run some errands and catch my breath. She graciously agreed. We made it through the morning somehow and I dropped them off. She said she was going to take them out to lunch and to play so I would have several hours and she'd just bring them home later. We switched cars and I was flooded with thankfulness - just for the provision that God made.
Sometimes we need help on this journey. And, I'm usually slow at asking for help - but look at the response I received.
I did my errands with a slower pace than I usually have the freedom to take. And, it was like the time alone and the quiet were restoring me. Sometimes we really do need time to refresh.
Grocery shopping. Check.
Pick up pictures. Check.
Craft Supplies. Check.
I headed home with a lighter heart and got things settled in quickly. I gathered my crafting things and a movie from the library. Peaceful lights, sitting on my bed, looking out my window, being restored in all these things.
I cut circles for over and hour just relishing the quiet, the peace, the calm, the healing of creating. One thing I've learned about myself is that I have a need to create. When I am off center, worn out, struggling - it is one of the things that brings me back and helps me re-focus and feel refreshed.
So, for the rest of the afternoon - I worked and I could hardly stop. It was so therapeutic.
Ask for help.
Create.Step out of my tunnel vision and get a fresh perspective. All of these things help me in seeing more clearly.
What clears your vision when things are getting muddy?