Friday, October 22, 2010

Brave

Wednesday morning it was still dark when I had my car packed and ready to leave for Relevant. I was putting cinnamon rolls in the oven for my children and trying to remember any last minute details.

The time arrived. At 7am the girls clock alarm went off which was their cue that they could get up and give me a goodbye hug - warm little bodies and squinty eyes at the bright lights - they trodded out to the kitchen.

Rachel crawled up in my lap and snuggled, I could sense she was struggling. Yes, there was a sweet little face trying so hard to be brave but fighting away tears. Oh, this was going to be hard and yet, it was very sweet in the same moment.

We talked about all the things she was going to get to do that day and she reminded me of her hope that I would bring her back something. The entire scene repeated with Emily and we move toward the couch where I suggested they snuggle a bit more with Grandma before their breakfast was ready.

It was hard to leave seeing their little faces struggling. And, tears welled up in my eyes as I began the drive. There was something so vulnerable about those brave faces that looked up at me. I realized how much they trust me. I realized what a security it is to them to have me with them every day. All these things that I can easily forget in the day in and day out times of life.

And, I felt like I was trying to be brave too. Leaving these sweet ones, my job for a few days - yet feeling called away to be with Him, meeting new friends and reconnecting with longer held friends. All these things were going to require being brave.

What is requiring you to be brave today?

11 comments:

Ruth said...

We are trusting God for finances.

Most of my blog friends will be about 2 1/2 hrs. away from my home. :( You all will have to stop by our home on your way. (Don't even want to know what my neighbors would think! LOL) I can't wait for you to share all you have learned!!
Also, I have a give away of 2 books, a few other goodies, on my blog until Monday . Monica, I always enjoy your blog.

Anonymous said...

I always enjoy your blog so much as well and hope you have a great time.

Totally off topic, but can you (and anyone else) share how you get your young ones to sleep past 6 am? I was caught on that detail that it said your little ones were awoken by alarm at 7 am. My husband and I would love to learn to train our children to sleep past 6 am, 6:30 at the latest! Any tips from anyone?

Sorry to veer off topic!
Thanks!
-Grace

angie said...

I have to follow up with my dr. for some slight complications I'm having post surgery.
My husband is in Singapore and China for ~2 weeks.
These circumstances are requiring me to be brave and strong. All things are possible through Him!

Beth Niquette said...

I'm also trusting God for our finances--but not only that, I'm struggling with the sharp words of someone who spoke unfairly.

I am struggling because I want to respond in kind--but I will not.

flyonthewall said...

Praise the Lord that your little ones have a Mommy who is worthy of their trust! The love and effort that you and your husband put into raising them provides them a glimpse of the love of their Heavenly Father. Thank you for sharing.
P.S. I am being "brave" in that my oldest child just left the nest to attend his first year of college, and my eyes still well up with tears when I think about driving away leaving him there. But I know that I can trust him to God's loving care just as much as when he was at home.

Tasha said...

I am leaving later this afternoon for a Ladies Retreat. I am SO excited about going to be with my friends from church, but leaving my boys is always hard. I have seen the face of one already trying to be brave just talking about me leaving.....he is my sensitive one. I know they will have fun with Daddy, but I am always emotional about leaving my joy.

Kelly said...

I am being brave leaving for Texas for 4 days with my husband for his every 2 week chemo treatment. We live in Michigan and we leave our 2 girls with my mom. And they miss us and we miss them. He is Stage 4, incurable and gets experimental drugs. And praise God they have stopped the cancer so he is "stable".
Good point about the children trusting us to be around. My 3 yr. old is very naughty to her Grandma but I know it is only because she needs me. We talk all the time about her being brave and knowing we will come home. Simply being a mom takes bravery.

Kathi @ A Mother's Prayers said...

I'm trying to be 'brave' and be a friend. Very hard for me.

Hope you have a wonderful time at Relevant, wish I was going too, so we could all meet each other.

Grace - my children don't sleep past 6:30 EVER. Some mornings are even before 6:00...makes for a very long morning! For a while, we just started Bible at 6:30, but now we are back to putting back to bed, putting back to bed, putting back to bed until 7:00. Hoping it will sink in after a few more days! If you find some good advice somewhere, please share!

LynnMarie said...

I'm so glad that you got to go and that your littles one are well cared for. They trust you and that is such a sweet thing.
I've had to attend 2 funerals this week. One, a woman in her 70's who was so full of life and love but sick for 20 years and the other a 46 year old who also was sick for many years. Even though there bodies failed, they never stopped smilling, never stopped loving and never blamed God. This has been a hard week for me.

Mom said...

Oh, this post touched my heart -- for your sweet little ladies' bravery in saying goodbye to Mama for a few days and for your bravery in leaving your comfort zone and those sweet faces to attend the Relevant conference. You are all in my thoughts and prayers!

I'm trying to bravely be Dad's "support crew" during this cancer journey -- his bravery is inspiring! And as I read some of the comments others have left, I am also inspired to continue bravely on this path.

Love you lots, Mom

Kaira said...

I'm all a puddle again just remembering the tears and those little faces when I left too. Mamas aren't made for leaving their babes, I suppose. It's just not a natural way of things...