Friday, March 13, 2009

A Mommy Moment

Excuse me while I just have a mommy moment here -

While we were in Colorado, I found myself asking my Mom, "What can I do for you?" To help, to tidy, to make the load of extra people in the home lighter. I never realized what would come from me asking that question.

Emily heard me.

And, she has been asking me every day - sometimes multiple times. She wants so much to be helpful and to see my smile in reaction to her asking that. And, she has nearly always done what I mentioned she could do to help me with a good attitude and then comes back and asks me again! Sometimes I just answer, "Oh, just play and have fun!" or "What can I do for you, Emily?" (I wrote this post several weeks ago, and while she hasn't been asking me this question anymore - the lesson still remains!)

It reminds me of being a child myself and loving to see my mom smile, hear her laugh and notice that she was happy. I remember a Family Circus cartoon that my Mom shared with me - I don't remember all the details - but it was Dolly talking to her mom and conveying the idea that she liked it when her mom was happy at her or smiling!

I remember wanting my mom to be happy - and, now I see this desire in Emily. When I am grouchy or frustrated about something, she will give me a big smile and say, "I'm being good!" or something to get a smile out of me.

As a mother, am I making it my goal to be happy around my children? To smile at them? To laugh with them? When I do, I notice their reactions and their attitude - it is happy too!

So, part of me wonders if she asks me what she can do because of my reaction to her question - I am happy she asked and it is a blessing to me to hear her thoughtful question. It also gives me a goal of being happy with my children whether or not they are wanting to help - but just to be a bright spot in their day and in their lives!

19 comments:

Leanne said...

that was such a good reminder! thanks, Monica!

momof4sweetsisters said...

One of my daughters likes to see me smile. At first I thought it was odd (how sad is that), but it really makes her heart happier. If we're out alone together and I seem a bit uh blue... She say something like "turn that frown upside down" or "mommy your smiles make me feel good".I usually get a big hug along with it.
A good reminder when I get haried by life's distractions! The Lord knows what I need and when and has no problem using my littles to get it to me!

Monica said...

This is so true!!! I notice a huge difference in the attitudes of my children when I am happy around them. Our attitudes can have a tremendous affect on our entire household and create an atmosphere of joy and peace.

Mom said...

This post brought a smile to my face and a tear to my eye -- thank you so much for all the ways you have helped me and made me smile! :) And I love it that you are passing that along to your children -- love to all, Mom

Kelly said...

Aww, Monica! She's adorable! She reminds me of my Grace - it's so sweet to see how children really do show care for their parents, wanting them to be happy, as well. It reminds me of our own desire to please our heavenly Father and make Him feel joy for all that He's done for us. :o)

Have a great weekend, mama!

Cheryl said...

Monica, it is always so refreshing to come read your blog every morning. I love this post. My children are in their teens now, but what you are speaking about today applies no matter what our childrens age are. We as mothers set the tone of the home for our families. That familiar old quote, "If momma ain't happy, nobody's happy." is true. I know I try to not be the grouch in my home, but sometimes I just have bad days.
How sweet of your Emily to want to help and see you smile. She is quite in tune with her surroundings.I am going to try and be the smile in my home today.
Have a blessed day!

Elise said...

Oh wow!! That reminds me of that saying, "If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Pardon the bad grammar...But its true. Thanks for reminding me that my actions matter and can cause equal or opposite reactions. I really needed this today, having not gotten very good sleep, despite the fact I went to bed early. Crying babies, middle of the night visits from the older ones, etc. make for a very grouchy mommy.
Elise

Christy said...

That is so sweet. We've been training the children to help get ready for dinner and clean up afterwards. They are to ask "Is there anything else I can do for you?" before leaving the kitchen. Like you said, often I'll have another task and sometimes I'll give them a big hug and thank them for helping me and tell them they may go play. I've been surprised by how quickly and eagerly they have caught on and asked that. And they remind each other to ask, too. I love it.

asnipofgoodness said...

beautiful post Monica, thank you for the reminder!

Wendi said...

So sweet! What a kind heart your Emily has. It is a great reminder of how much of an impact we have on our children.

Don't worry about the bow on the spray bottle. If I were the only one using it I think it would've been fine. My little helper is a little rougher on things!

Have a great weekend!

Clorissa said...

That is so sweet. My girls like to see me smile, too. The ask me if I am happy several times during the day!

You are a great mom. Your mom is a great mom!

Clorissa

debra said...

You know what they say, 'behavior breeds behavior' & it's especially true with our kids. I know when my daughter is crabby (which has been alot lately, for some reason) & I don't react to it - I just try to be as cheerful as she is crabby - she snaps out of it fast. And just like you remember your mom being happy, your kids will remember you that way.
Thanks for that post - a good reminder -since sometimes it's hard. :)

Joy Cometh in the Morning said...

I was just having these same thoughts. My girls are unusually compliant. I am not used to it because my two older children were so uncompliant. It makes me feel very guilty when I ask them to do something and they automatically say "yes ma'am." Then I reward them with grouchiness. I would never speak to someone elses children the way I speak to my own sometimes. That seems very backwards.

April said...

that really blessed me monica. my emma has the same heart, and it is such a treasure. :D

list mama said...

Such a beautiful post! That is the goal as a parent, right? To raise our children to love and appreciate family.

Jen
http://www.ListPlanIt.com

...they call me mommy... said...

Great post, Monica! Isn't it neat how God uses our children to show us things we need to see!? It happens to me ALL the time!

Blessings!

Lori said...

I just found your blog for the first time. And ya know what? I like it here!! Think I'll hang around for a while and visit! It's a very nice place to be! :)

Kelli said...

New to your blog but I had to say that is a sweet story. Every once in a while my daughter will just hug me and tell me she loves me and it makes me smile.

Jenny said...

How precious! This has actually been one of my goals these past 2 weeks--to smile at my children a little more! I have noticed such a difference in their behavior.